Dec. 22, 2009
Red Bluff, CA
With the Tehama County District Attorney forcing the owners of the only medical marijuana dispensary in the Red Bluff area to “agree” to shut its doors or go to jail, late-shopping stoner Bud Hooter is wondering where he will get all the weed he needs for the season.
“It isn’t fair,” coughed Hooter, “I want to shop locally, but this is forcing me to spend my Christmas dollars in Corning or Redding.”
Corning has a marijuana dispensary next to an ice cream parlor. Lord knows how many dispensaries still exist in Redding within the boundaries of the recent moratorium.
Other northstate communities like Shasta Lake and Anderson have succumbed to the pressure of the meth lobby and banned competition from pot smoking pussies. Even usually cool Chico has blocked any storefront collectives or dispensaries until they can figure out how to tax it and provide parking.
“This is bullshit,” said Hooter, “I got a lot of sick friends who are gonna be real pissed if they don’t get their medicine for Christmas. Why should I have to fight the crowds in Redding when I could be buying some fine Reeds Creek Chronic or Dog Island Stink Bud? Where the hell is the Chamber of Commerce on this?”
Outgoing Chamber of Commerce Executive Director John Dingling was, in fact, hiding under his desk smoking a joint hoping everyone would go away.
“Well, if I have to go to Corning to get my medicine,” continued Hooter before forgetting what else he had to say.
In a related story, ice cream sales in Corning are up 3000%.
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