Stabbytown, CA.
May 27, 2013
A Chico man was stabbed over the weekend by a man who had earlier stabbed several people who had been stabbing each other following a stabbing disagreement between two unidentified stabbers.
"Just another stabbing--nothing to see here," shouted Chico police officer Stan 'Stub' Stabstopper as he dispersed the crowd, stabbing several people who wouldn't move quick enough.
Paramedics tended to the worst of the stab victims and then stabbed those who hadn't been stabbed enough yet.
"Just another Staburday night in Stab City," sighed taxi driver Travis Bickle.
"It's always nice when the occasional shooting or a good old fashioned beatdown breaks up the routine. But tonight it's just stab, stab, stab."
Bickle then stabbed our reporter before turning the knife on himself. The reporter was unable to finish this story, but did manage to stab his doctor right before surgery.
They are both in stab-le condition.
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