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Christmas lost in Marty Season
Jesus wishes their birthdays were different
Dec. 26, 2009
Red Bluff, CA
On this day after Christmas the son of God and part-time magician Jesus Christ admits he wishes his birthday were anytime besides December 25th.
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"The 25th is Marty Trendler’s birthday. Every year all I get is Marty presents, but no-one remembers it’s Christmas too. What a gyp,” said the holy saviour as he halfheartedly blessed football games and appeared as a hot sauce stain in some lady’s house in Gridley.
Yesterday was no exception as a crowd of a dozen or so worshippers gathered at Marty’s mom’s trailer to commemerate his birth, while celebrations for Jesus went largely unnoticed.
“Sure I saved mankind by dying for their eternal sins,” pointed out Jesus, “but Marty sings karaoke. His versions of 'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' and 'Convoy' even make me cry. How can I compete with that?”
Most people at Marty’s party were sympathetic when told the sad story of Jesus.
“His birthday is the same day as Marty’s? That sucks,“ said a little boy as he continued to find unopened presents under the Marty Tree. “Why would his parents do something like that?”
Marty “Wal-Marty” Trendler, who many people don’t believe exists, was too busy turning wine into dinner to care.
Belated birthday wishes can be sent to MartyandtheMartyr.com
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