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Chico's Hippie Jew Brewery Turns 30
Sierra Nevada Grows from Grossman to Grosskids
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April 1, 2010
Chico, CA.
Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, founded in 1980 by bicycle repairman Ken Grossman, turned thirty last week. Known worldwide for its fine ales and beers, Sierra Nevada is currently transitioning from one man's drunken dream to the most successful family-operated booze business since the Duke Brothers gave up running moonshine.
Second generation brewer and General Manager Brian Grosskid, a former t-ball star and bounty hunter, says he wants to continue his parent's dream of a 100% self-sustainable eco-friendly brewery. In keeping with such progressive features as on-site energy production, innovative transportation methods, and water recovery advances, Grosskid says he will be introducing a new beer that reflects the responsible environmental philosophy of his upbringing.
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"It's a beer made from the urine of our pub customers. We have figured out ways to re-use waste water, grains, glass, and packaging materials, but one vastly untapped resource we've always wanted to get back into recirculation was the incredible amount of piss that just gets flushed away every day. So we've come up with a trough and pipe system that, of course, resembles similar systems used throughout Europe since the dawn of time. All made of the finest copper and assembled by actual trolls we brought in from Bavaria."
The new beer will be called Summerpiss. (Not to be confused with Summerfest, which has a different label.)
Brian's two older sisters are also making their mark on the business.
Carrie, the middle child, is doing her part by creating the third generation of brewers, a passel of refusenik brats who will swear they want nothing to do with beer and then take over when they turn twenty-one and sell the place to Bill Cosby's kids.
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The eldest of the junior brewsters, Sierra, feels she has done enough already. "The whole darn brewery is named after me," bragged big sister. "If Brian thinks he's going to tell me what to do, he's drunker than my mom after a glass of Near Beer. By the way, that's my mountain range too. And Sierraville? Hello??-Mine!"
Ken Grossman is slowly extricating himself from the daily operations of the brewery, hoping to enjoy a semi-retirement that includes riding a unicycle across China, deep sea diving in outer space, ending global warming, improving the health care bill, getting the economy back on track, recording his version of "I Saw Katie Kissing Santa Claus",
mastering sodoku, and canceling that Merry Standish Comedy Big Room Gig he was just thinking about booking.
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