'Before You Were Born' is a series of made-up historical anecdotes and fake stories about genuine northstate persons, places, and things that never actually happened by regional fakestorian Shelby Footnote. Any similarities to real people or incidents is comedy, dummy.The State Theatre
333 Oak St.
Red Bluff, CA.
The historic State Theatre in Red Bluff will be closing its doors at the end of this month. Limping along under the banner of The State Theatre for the Arts since 1998, the building is a wonderful old room with lots of history.
For thousands of years it was the site of Maidu Indian gatherings, where seasonal feasts and celebrations were held. It quickly became a Maidu burial ground with the advent of the white man to the area. Native American artifacts are still rumored to be sticking out of the walls of the labyrinth of Chinese Tunnels which have their main hub in the basement of that very building.
Peter Lassen camped out in the Red Bluff area and stayed just long enough to rename eveything he could find after himself and his family. Originally known as Duncan Heights (which must have been Peter Lassen’s son’s name) the tiny village became a prosperous port during the Gold Rush, as the undammed river was still quite deep and large commercial vessels delivered goods here to be loaded onto wagons for distribution further north. Just like the WalMart DC does now.
With lots of money and people flowing into town, the Mucky-Mucks (a philanthropical organization that was later defeated in battle by the Odd Fellows) decided they needed a place for cultural events. In 1908 the Orpheum Theatre opened on the site. Also known as The Opera House, it was built and operated by local businessmen. It only took them 20 years to run it into the ground. Twenty years to figure out opera wasn't going to make it in Red Bluff? (Well, they lasted eight years longer than the SFTA.)
The Mucky-Mucks unloaded the building on an unsuspecting theatre chain, who refurbished it and renamed it Zeke's Peek-a-Boo Moving Picture Emporium. Opening in 1929 the Emporium showed talking moving pictures, known locally as moo-vies. They also brought in many live acts. Then in 1944 tragedy struck when the theatre burned to the ground and the immortal undead Bob Minch became a realtor.
The town was devastated. And they really missed the theatre too. It took another year or more to rebuild, but the newly christened State Theatre reopened in 1946 with The Red Bluff High School Band performing out front using the very instruments and uniforms they use today.
In the 1970’s the beautiful art deco interior was split into three movie houses by famed theatre dissector Al Mitchell, who also split up the Senator Theater in Chico. The outside of the building retained it's prison warehouse facade, convincing most people that it was already condemned.
Eventually the Riverside Crackerbox Palace Multuplex on South Main opened, and actually rented the State Theater to keep it dark except for a few very successful midnight movies and (ahem) live comedy shows.
The town discussed many alternative uses for the building, including senior citizen housing, a parking garage, and methamphetamine kitchen. But that was all just lip service because the City had no intention of spending any money on it when they needed every cent to entice great job providers like WalMart and InEnTech to town.
So that was that. Until The World’s Richest Dentist, Dr. Ron Clark, decided it was the building he needed to complete his Red Bluff Trifecta. He had already purchased the Kraft Library and an old house turned restaurant, The Victorian. (In an interesting aside, Dr. Clark moved The Victorian to Rio St when he was unsuccessful in his efforts to relocate the Sacramento River to the building’s original location.)
Clark singlehandedly, with the help of a free prison labor crew, tore down the walls that had split up the theater for so long, making it almost impossible to sell out a production there. Unless you count 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' every other weekend and John Wayne film festivals on the holidays. (Apparently, Red Bluff's transvestite cowboy population has lots of discretionary income.)
The restoration plans continued at a snail’s pace for lack of funding. Dr. Clark was hesitant to put in more than he wanted to lose in tax credits and the State Theatre for the Arts (founded to flounder about for consultants and grant money) finally petered out after burning through dozens of volunteers. Some people feel that the complicated, multi-page contract, which included several "Derik Clauses" aimed at keeping the tech man in hairspray, may have also contributed to lack of support for the organization.
Queen of Downtown Red Bluff, Venita Feelgood, who has overseen every step of the theatre's demise, will be sorry to lose her free office. "Well, it's just a shame. I don't see how I can run this town out of my own home. I have been begging other downtown property owners to let me use any extra room they have, but so far only Subculture has come forward to offer me space in their Bong and Dildo closet."
COMMENT FROM DERIK THE TECH GUY: Dammit, I use hair gel!!!!You can order a $5 VHS tape of Merry Standish Comedy (featuring Aaron and Liz, Roland Allen, John Bertoli, and Brandon Davison) staging the initial fundraisers for the State Theatre for the Arts in October of 1999 here. The three nights netted $10,000 for a feasibility study that blah, blah, blah...ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pigeon poop to pigeon poop...CommentReturn To ArchivesReturn To Merry Standish Standard Main Page
